The Dreaded Weekend.....

The week has passed by quickly, I dread the thought of telling you that "I hope you have a good weekend". Though it's only two short days, I feel lost & helpless. I know I will be thinking of you and hoping that everything is going well. The memory of seeing you Monday, eyes swollen from crying and hearing the words "I had a terrible weekend" are still fresh in my mind. I never did get a straight answer as to what happened, I just know that something or someone hurt you. The sick feeling that I had when you told me has went away, but I curse the fact that I wasn't able to be there for you. I hate that our differences were enough to keep me from being able to share myself with you, to be your shoulder to lean on, your protector & friend. The thought that someone could be so uncaring about your feelings frustrates me. Why can't he be on the outside looking in? I truly do wish for you to be happy, even at the expense of my unhappiness.

I will find things to do, some will be productive and others in the hope that my mind will not dwell on things I have no control over. My wife is unaware of the thoughts I am having. We don't have a lot in common & the few interests that we do share are clouded by tension, hurt feelings and unfulfilled desires. Our frail efforts to coexist darken the already cloudy atmosphere. The time will pass slowly as my thoughts of someone else make each minute seem like an eternity.

Monday will come, I will look for you shortly after I get to work and pray that your eyes are shineing and that you are smiling. I will ask how your weekend was and hope to hear the words that make me happy..."I had a great weekend". The week will pass quickly, each night a condensed version of the weekend to come. Why do the days seem like minutes and the nights seem like days. ............