Still Here

Well I am still seeing my new friend. This saturday is 2 months. We still get along great, laugh and joke alot and constantly talk on the phone when were not working. It to me is a little annoying, but it is nice to have someone to talk with.

I am still having issues with letting go of J. the woman I have talked to for 2 1/2 years now. She still likes to play her games and I fall into them each and every time. Regardless of how well things are going with my new friend, I still want to be with the other one. Very Badly. I know I am "better of" with the girl I am seeing, she treats me great, but Everyone knows the feeling of "wanting what you can't have" & I have it badly. Tuesday she texted me 27 times, back and forth asking questions, talking about going out etc, & then Wed/Thursday almost nothing, just a few hey how you doing?, whats going on at work? crap type texts.

The one thing J. is great about doing is making me feel like shit about myself. She knows & I know that no one is going to treat her as good as I would. She tells me she cares about me, but never will commit to going out. There is always an excuse. It doesn't help that we work in the same place, that throws a wrench into it to. I have to see her everyday. Otherwise common sense would let me move on.

I am heading over to see my new Friend today and I am sure we will have fun. The thing that messes with my mind is that I will never look at her the same way I look at the woman I can't have.

Why can't we appreciate what is right in front of us? Why do we torture ourselves? There are alot of sayings about Love hurting, etc. I can honestly say I have experienced this......