Laying it on the line......

Wrote this for the woman that has been driving me crazy for 2 years now. It's time for this thing to come to a head and blossom or to bust......

I don’t know why, but I will have a million things in my mind that I want to say to you, but when I get the chance to talk my words never come out right. I didn’t sleep very much last night because of all the things I wished I could tell you & it is hard to say things in a txt & 4 them 2 sound right if UNO what I mean…

I am glad that you are not upset with me and I hope by writing that I can say some of the things that are hard to speak. I honestly thought that you knew how I felt about you. I have written several letters and even the note I put in your card yesterday at the bottom said the things that are in my mind. Maybe I wasn’t clear and if so that’s my fault. My actions or “lack of taking action” to my bad situation could have also been confusing. I never wanted to promise you something and not be capable of keeping my promise. I have my mind made up on what I need to do and I am doing whether or not I am ever able to be with you, or talk with you again. I hope that this is not the case, as that would mean have I lost someone who is very special to me.

As I mentioned earlier you have done nothing but be yourself and that is the person that I care so much for. I have seen you when you were happy, mad, sick, tired, concerned, playful, serious and about every range of emotion in between. No matter the situation you have always been someone special in my eyes. I am thankful for the amount of time that we have just “talked” because that has given me the opportunity to know you better as a person. To see you for whom you are without jumping into something based solely on attraction. Don’t get me wrong I think you are a stunningly beautiful woman, but there is so much more to you than that.

I texted yesterday that “you know I would be good to you and to Mini”. I want you to know that I understand she is the most important person in your life & anything I could do to help you and to be there for her would be very important to me also.

Lastly it’s not really the fact that you are seeing, have seen or want to see someone, you are single and that’s your prerogative. My question is whether or not you want to give me a chance to be in your life? I have told you my plans to make changes and that I will step away if you aren’t interested. This is the last thing that I want to do, but I would, if there is no chance for me to be with you, to get to know you better & you me. To keep wondering keeps my heart in knots. I have never really asked you for anything except an answer to this question and regardless of your answer it would be a kindness to me to really know.

I hope your afternoon is good and that Mini is feeling better today. Maybe U can text me & let me know. TTYL

Someone Very Special Birthday's Today

I hope you have a wonderful birthday! You are one of the most amazing people I have ever met and your Birthday offers me the chance to tell you so. You have inspired me in so many ways and opened my mind and my heart. Because of you I see the world much brighter and with a more caring heart.

You are a wonderful Mom and one of the most caring people I have ever known. I know your daughter is the most important person in your life and that she loves you. Just as she said to you the other day “that you make her feel special” by the way you care for her. I know you take very good care of her and would do anything in the world for her. When she is not feeling well, I know that you are hurting and I wish to be able to help in anyway possible, for you both.

Sometimes I don’t tell you how much you are appreciated and respected or how much you mean to me; I hope that you can forgive me for my forgetfulness and read between the lines during those times and know that I care for you. I care for you not sometimes, part time or just once in awhile, but all the time. Knowing you has made me strive to be a better person. For this I am very thankful. I am far from being the best that I can be, but each day I am driven to be better. One day I hope to be able to be someone that you would want to give you the happiness, love and respect that you deserve.....

Thinking of my Sweetheart............

I thought of you with Love today, but that is nothing new. I thought about you yesterday & days before that too. I think of you in silence, I seldom speak your name. All I have are memories, not even your picture in a frame. Thoughts of you are my keepsakes, of with which I'll never part. I may never have you in my life, but you are always in my heart......