I have been reading some of the blogs of folks who follow me and I don't know if it is coincidence or if God is trying to tell me something. Megan at Life's Happenings had this David Burns quote at the top of her last blog... "There is only one person who can ever make you happy and that person is you". Alpha ButtonPusher had this one... " Happiness is not something you have in your hands, it is something you carry in your heart".
Both of these quotes refer to what I am looking for "Happiness". Maybe I am looking in the wrong place and need to look deeper within myself. It all sounds so easy, it's the getting started that is the hardest. I have always said I have a type A personality and as a part of that personality you tend to want to excel. It is hard to admit that you have failed. I tend to over analyze everything and sometimes my stubborn streak kicks in and I won't admit defeat.
How did I get to the point I am now? I guess it started with "giving" myself to someone else. I was truly in love with my wife (at least I thought I was) & I guess that is when my guard was lowered. Over the years ( 18 & 1/2) you keep bending, twisting and giving until what you formerly known as "yourself" has disappeared and you are now someone else. How do we turn back time and get to where we used to be? I think this is one reason I fell so hard for the person last year. She is much younger than me (16 years) and I think she took me back to a place that I wish I was in.
So here I sit with good advice from 2 different people contemplating how to make the necessary changes to achieve the goal I am after.......Happiness.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Time Marches on....
Well it's Saturday again, I haven't been putting much effort into writing. I felt as if I was
re-hashing the same old things over and over again. To be honest I don't have alot to talk about now, but I am bored and ticked off once again with the wife so I am just killing time. I don't feel the passion I had when I started blogging, Maybe writing everything down helped get it out of my system. Spent a good part of the afternoon at the dentist office yesterday and took the wife to a gospel sing for a couple of hours last night. Then we worked around the house most of the day today. Watched the movie "7 Pounds" tonight (I thought it was really good). Rosario Dawson is so beautiful and reminds me alot of the woman I want to be with. If you read about her at wikapedia she had a really rough start in life, but has done very well for herself!
Things aren't progressing any farther with the woman I was talking with & I have been making a strong effort to just let it go. I still see her everyday during the week at work and it sure is hard to want to be with someone so badly, but to keep telling yourself it isn't going to happen & that it's probably for the best. If everything in life worked out the way we wanted it to, there would be no pleasure in occasionally getting what you desire.
My nephew has his 5th birthday party tomorrow so I will be going to visit with him. I teased him a few weeks ago and told him I had bought him some Barbie dolls & he flat out told me to not bring them. He didn't want any part of a doll...lol.
I hope everyone has a good weekend. I am ready to just take a week off and go somewhere, anywhere, but preferably somewhere I have never been before. I ideally would like to go by myself, because going with the wife would invariably wind up in some sort of argument and void the purpose of getting away.
Take care,
Mike
re-hashing the same old things over and over again. To be honest I don't have alot to talk about now, but I am bored and ticked off once again with the wife so I am just killing time. I don't feel the passion I had when I started blogging, Maybe writing everything down helped get it out of my system. Spent a good part of the afternoon at the dentist office yesterday and took the wife to a gospel sing for a couple of hours last night. Then we worked around the house most of the day today. Watched the movie "7 Pounds" tonight (I thought it was really good). Rosario Dawson is so beautiful and reminds me alot of the woman I want to be with. If you read about her at wikapedia she had a really rough start in life, but has done very well for herself!
Things aren't progressing any farther with the woman I was talking with & I have been making a strong effort to just let it go. I still see her everyday during the week at work and it sure is hard to want to be with someone so badly, but to keep telling yourself it isn't going to happen & that it's probably for the best. If everything in life worked out the way we wanted it to, there would be no pleasure in occasionally getting what you desire.
My nephew has his 5th birthday party tomorrow so I will be going to visit with him. I teased him a few weeks ago and told him I had bought him some Barbie dolls & he flat out told me to not bring them. He didn't want any part of a doll...lol.
I hope everyone has a good weekend. I am ready to just take a week off and go somewhere, anywhere, but preferably somewhere I have never been before. I ideally would like to go by myself, because going with the wife would invariably wind up in some sort of argument and void the purpose of getting away.
Take care,
Mike
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