Happy New Year Everyone!

Well another year has passed and this one seems to have passed by rather quickly. I made up my mind last weekend to wise up, move on and quit letting my mind fuck with me about the beautiful young woman I have been talking to. I have done really well this week not talking to her other than the necessities of work. I plan to continue into the new year and move on with my life. Things with my wife continue to deteriorate and I don't expect it to last much longer. We hardly talk and we each do our on thing when we have free time.

I hope EVERYONE has a great New Year and that all your dreams and wishes can come true............

It's Me Again.....

I had logged on earlier to write a little, all kinds of sad ass thoughts running through my mind and I guess feeling sorry for myself. Tried talking with the wife a little bit as she was heading to bed. She bitched about me waiting until "to late to talk". I told her no problem I can walk out and not say another word without having a second thought (which is what I did). I read comments to my post yesterday and felt somewhat better! Scanned through several blogs and read some interesting stories! Took a vacation day so I am off tomorrow!!! Planned to go to the woods, but it is supposed to rain most of the day.

I had a pretty good day with my little sweetie at work. Stopped on the way to work at Starbucks and bought her a latte this morning. A bit later me and "my little buddy" (the owners 2 year old granddaughter) went for a walk (she wants me to carry her) and stopped by and visited my sweetie. We had to show off the new words I have been teaching her and then we drew a few pictures. I think she really enjoys seeing me playing with the little one and is impressed with how she clings to me. I had went shopping and bought my sweetie's daughter (she's 10) a few things for Christmas and I wrapped them. Made plans to meet up after work and drop off the presents off so she could take them home, didn't want to take a chance on bringing them in the building for nosey people to see. Later in the day I asked if she had taken her daughter shopping to get her something and she said that she had made her something at School. Last year I sent some money home with her in a sealed envelope and told her to take her daughter shopping and let her buy her something. I did the same thing today and she told me I didn't have to do that, but I rebutted and said it wasn't right for her to have to give her money to buy her own gift. She was very appreciative and kept telling me how thoughtful I was. We met up and talked briefly, I dropped the presents off and we wished each other a good weekend.
I am sitting her now waiting for Monday to arrive so I can see her smiling face again.

I hope everyone's weekend is great I am going to try and hit the woods when the rain ends and may go visit my parents. BTW I hope you all make it on Santa's nice list!

Nothing new.

I am still around and reading alot of your blogs. I haven't posted much here or in comments lately. I just haven't felt like it. Christmas is almost here and I have no desire to participate. I used to get excited when the kids were young and Santa was real. I also used to try to find something really special, thoughtful and nice for my wife, but have no desire to. I have only shopped for one person and that is the daughter of the woman I have been talking with.

I know deep down inside that I am probably suffering from depression, but hate the thought of "changing me" to feel like society says I should. I have no problem functioning at work or play and have a fun upbeat attitude with almost everyone (except at home). I no longer have the strong sex drive I used to have, I just don't "feel it" at home. I guess after so much animosity , arguing and rejection you just get to a point of not caring anymore. Along with that I no longer find my wife attractive. The 5'3 105 lb woman I married is no more.

I will try to write more soon. It's late and time for work will be here before I know it.