I am still around and reading alot of your blogs. I haven't posted much here or in comments lately. I just haven't felt like it. Christmas is almost here and I have no desire to participate. I used to get excited when the kids were young and Santa was real. I also used to try to find something really special, thoughtful and nice for my wife, but have no desire to. I have only shopped for one person and that is the daughter of the woman I have been talking with.
I know deep down inside that I am probably suffering from depression, but hate the thought of "changing me" to feel like society says I should. I have no problem functioning at work or play and have a fun upbeat attitude with almost everyone (except at home). I no longer have the strong sex drive I used to have, I just don't "feel it" at home. I guess after so much animosity , arguing and rejection you just get to a point of not caring anymore. Along with that I no longer find my wife attractive. The 5'3 105 lb woman I married is no more.
I will try to write more soon. It's late and time for work will be here before I know it.
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Big Mike, you know I'm always happy when I hear from you! This breaks my heart to read this...it isn't fair Mike. Cliche' I know...but life is short and certainly worth living to it's fullest potiential. Why don't you think your worthy. I'm sending you a Merry Christmas from my heart, and you better receive it!
ReplyDeleteFor you Mike-
The fact is, that to do anything in the world worth doing, we must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger, but jump in and scramble through as well as we can.
Robert Cushing
Blessings,
Meagan
Message Received Megan. Although I have never met you it makes me feel good to know that someone is listening and offering advice. It is nice to be able to post here and get feedback (even when you get on my ass for not doing what I think I should do). I will receive you wish for a Merry christmas and try to have one!
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