Well it's been awhile since I stopped in to unload here at my blog so here it goes..... I woke up yesterday to having an arguement with the wife the Very First Thing in the morning. I thought about it on my way to work and texted her the following ..."Counseling or quits? We need to make a decision here. There is no need to keep tearing each other apart." Well she had a different attitude that afternoon when I got home. I still don't think a damn thing is solved, but "once again" she knows I am tired of the shit. I doubt anything will change and after 18 years I guess we are just mulling along like a creature of habit will do. One day something will snap, a line will be crossed just a little to far and I am sure we will seperate.
I think about my options all the time, I have saved a little money on the side that she is unaware of and in a pinch I have a place to go. I am generally a strong free willed person, but have fell into a life of convieance. It's to easy to come home and avoid her if things aren't going well to be driven to leave. Last year I was anxious to go, I had someone to go to. Someone better, Someone new. Why didn't I leave then? Scared, stupid, compliacent or a combination of all three. I'm 42 and hate the thougth of starting over. My daughter turns 18 in 11 days, that will be a relief also!
Oh well, I will get back to dreaming in my mind and waiting until the day the line is crossed or something snaps.
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I just read every post in your blog. I am 28 years old, married with a 4 year old daughter. I feel like I am kind of in the beginning stage of what you went through. I have been married for 4 years but things aren't all good. I have tried and tried and tried but I feel like we don't connect like we should and I am ready to give up. The only problem is I have a 4 year old daughter that is my heart and soul. I know that if I leave my wife, I have to leave my daughter which just breaks my heart when I think about it. I don't want to be a part time dad, picking her up and dropping her off. Its like I have a choice to make... leave my wife and make myself happy OR stay together and see my daughter through. I am torn, but reading your blog have given me some great insite. Sorry for rambling but I am going to continue to follow your blog
ReplyDeleteMike that's it, we are creatures of habit, we don't want to interrupt our comfort zones! Even though we know we need to make a change, we are absolutely scared/fearful of the unknown. But ask yourself do you really want to continue to just “mully around” I know I don't! Listening to a program the other day, I heard someone say if you're unhappy in your marital relationship, leave the relationship behind, not the marriage! In other words you're not divorcing or leaving your spouse, you'd simply be leaving the old broken, unhealthy relationship behind to start a new relationship with your spouse. Perhaps enforcing and following through with your ultimatum of “counselor or quits”, maybe just what you need?
ReplyDeleteLets try'n in hang in there Mike, I know it’s hard,easier said then done! For now I’m going to continue to "walk away" per my last post.
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Sincerely,
Meagan Star
Kyle...Welcome aboard. Sorry to hear that you can relate to my blog...lol...Misery loves company. I will say that you still have a great opportunity to make things work. I wish I had of know when my daughter was 4 the things I know now. Don't give up with your wife yet! When the kids are young they take up alot of her time. Try to find someone to watch your daughter for a weekend and take your wife on a short trip to just "get away". I think you will see the sparks are still there. I failed to recognize some of these signs until it was to late.
ReplyDeleteMegan,
ReplyDeleteI mentioned the "counsler or quit" again last night. I don't know if it will do any good, but I am not going to let it drop. As bad as I hate to do it, I will leave before I spend another 18 years living like this. Life is to short to not be happy. I have continued to improve on myself and the results are paying off. I get compliaments at work quite often so I know my efforts aren't in vain. I Have been "Walking away" from the woman I am in love with and hopefully the hurt will go away someday soon. It is hard to do, but I know in the end we will both be better off. 16 years age differance is just to much. Thanks for taking the time to comment! I'll see you at Life's Happenings !