Getting it Together....

I don't know if the title is exactly the correct way to put things, because I don't know if I'll ever get it all together. I have been pushing forward day by day, trying to improve myself & the whole time my mind is working against me. I set goals and know that if I stick to them I can accomplish most all of them. The dark side of my mind works against me asking the question "Why Bother?". Not having a support system at home(someone who gives a shit) doesn't really help. I have always set high goals for myself and most of the time I have accomplished them. There have only been a few times in my life that I haven't achieved what I set out to do, whether it was work related or in a relationship. Right now I feel like I am at the crossroads of what I consider "Failure". I feel that my marriage is a failure & that the relationship I have been persueing in my heart is set to be a failure also. There are only so many things a person can do to win the heart of another and I am pretty much at the end of my efforts. I will never forgive myself for not stepping up and leaving my wife when I should have last year. I preach to my daughter that there are always concquences for your actions and until the day I die I will still wonder "what if I had of done this or that?".

I have been writing at home, mainly childhood memories that I would like to pass along to my daughter and any children that she may one day have. I have been very sporadic with my writings here as well as at home. Lately though I have felt compelled to quicken the pace.

Thanks to the person who comments on my posts and sends me an occasional message. You know who you are and I do enjoy logging in to see whats new with you. I hope all is well in your life.......